Parents: how to avoid a toxic relationship with children - The360 Healthy

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  • Thursday, December 26, 2019

    Parents: how to avoid a toxic relationship with children

    Parents: how to avoid a toxic relationship with children

    Certain involuntary parental behaviors can have long-term effects on children's minds. Fortunately, there are solutions to manage anger, sadness and anxiety without damaging the parent-child relationship.


    Raising children is not an easy task, and there is no magic textbook for learning how to do it right. Parents understand this process as they go along. They do their best, and they make mistakes. This is completely normal. The situation can become problematic when the error turns into routine.

    It is surprisingly easy to get into bad habits without even realizing that our style of education has taken a toxic turn. Without wanting to intentionally hurt children, some parents can project their own insecurities and anxieties. Recognizing these toxic habits is a first step to get rid of them.

    Toxicity, kesako?

    In the context of parenting, a toxic report is based on behaviors transmitted to children that can harm them. Children are a reflection of their parents' actions. For example, if you insult them or yell at them and lose your temper, it means that you haven't found a suitable outlet for your emotions.

    The latter will learn to resolve conflicts by shouting, because this is the only technique he knows. And its use of this approach in conflict situations can lead to physical, emotional or mental injury.

    Do not transmit stress or anxiety

    Turning your kids into a shoulder to lean on is another problematic sign, says the She knows website. If you're having a hard time, the best solution is to ask for help (from adults), instead of falling apart as a family. This does not mean that you have to suppress your feelings, but that you have to find the right place and the right person to discuss them with.

    Exit the frequent confidences, hoping that the child will relieve his stress. This is not his job. Exit also the transmission of his anxieties. If you're afraid of flying, don't spill that worry as soon as your child talks about a trip. Over time, he risks taking on this fear. And finally, exit the projection of your own aspirations and gaps on children.

    Dream and reality

    When a baby is born, his parents have a lot of hopes and wishes for his future. As the child grows and becomes more independent, it may be difficult for some parents to adjust. In these situations, they can continually push a child to realize their dreams or to speak and act as if their desires are those of the child. As a result, the child may begin to feel that their needs and wants are not important.

    The key, therefore, is to become aware, as a parent, of his toxic behavior, to ask for help when necessary, and to lead by example by respecting his child.

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